Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Don’t be the best, Be the only one


I just finished praying that day and I was convinced in my spirit to call it quits with Mr fine guy. I and Mr Fine guy have been in a relationship for a while, though I knew within me it was not heading anywhere. He almost always made me do something I didn’t want and I knew it was not Gods will for me. I knew I deserved more, but my biological belief clock (though a graduate, but still young in age) was ticking. People don’t want to know if you are just 22 but as soon as you leave the university, the next question is when will we come and eat rice oh. So I rose up from my prayer tower (a.k.a my bed) and with a strong resolve, got dressed to go and call it quits for the umpteenth and I hope the last time.


I met him sitting on a chair and smiling at something on his phone. I snatched the phone and I saw it was a text from another girl declaring her love for him. My defenses rose and I got consumed with jealousy (me that want to break up, shouldn’t I be happy). I smiled sweetly when he said”, I don’t know why all this girls disturb me oh when my heart is with you.” I ended up giving him a hug (the devil is a liar), that moment forgetting what I was there to do. At that point I decided I didn’t want to loose out in the battle.

Looking at this story, that should have been the best time for me to quit but I just was happy that even though many were pulling him (obviously finer girls, because I have met some), he still wanted to be with me. That gave me a level of silent sweet victory and esteem that I didn’t need. I can’t imagine how many people have got their heart broken, their bra cut and their panties stained because they just wanted to be better than the other girl. They get the gist that the other girl is tall, they start wearing 22 inches heels and don’t desist even after many broken-ankle incidents. They hear the other girl is light skinned, they try to rub hot palm oil on their body and need I tell you the result. They do a lot of things that hurts, demeans and destroy themselves so that they will be chosen as the best among the rest. You hear another lady is pregnant for your boyfriend and you quiclkly get pregnant too (oyo.com), The painful thing is that it is the girls that gets burnt and the guys will be feeling fly, Tufia.

Permit me to say that this is nonsense. As a woman you are a pillar, a crown to your man and you should not fight to BE THE BEST, but live to BE THE ONLY ONE. You were made to be his help, his love, his crown, not one of his plenty helps. It is sorry that in the world today many people have lost hope maybe because of the men they have met and the horrible slogan which says “áll men are polygamous in nature,” so they want to be the favorite among all others.

I always believed in getting the best but growing up, I met all kind of guys who wanted sex from me, even the Christians among them wanted something and I almost lost hope of finding the one who will cherish me and wash me with the word, work on me to be the best I can be, lavish me with gifts and affection and will also wait till marriage before he views my underwear, yes, it seemed like a tall order but I didn’t loose hope because even though I had not seen that person yet, I could see them in other people I had around me. I saw it in my Pastor’s lighted eyes, whenever he mentions TJ (his wife’s nickname). I saw it in my older cousin, who spent sometime in our house. He was so quiet and holy(very holy) yet stored her as Temi (mine) on his phone. They were far apart and not yet married but he was NEVER unfaithful to Mayowa. I saw it in my Mum, who even after my Daddy’s death had enough to take care of five of us, because of his sacrifice and love for her. I knew I was not different and that I could get the best and I decided to wait. Yes I decided to wait for the best. I decided no more trial and error but to wait for my Prince.

Yes I know it might be difficult to wait, when you attend a wedding party and everyone is looking around for the person who accompanied you, when your strict parents (who NEVER allow guys in your house) may drop innuendos on the fact that the house is open for any of your male friends. It might be difficult to WAIT but it is well worth it because you will be waiting with expectation, you will use that time to work on your anger issues, or watery ewedu soup that refuses to draw when the cook is you, and even find out your purpose. Whoever you are, never settle for less because if you are born again, your Father still got a lot of men as children who have not bowed to Baal

There was a time I actually thought I might not get what I want and I almost missed it but i constantly filled my heart and eyes with success stories. I visited couples who I know truly loved themselves, even if they fight about the light switch and the TV channel. I listened to messages of hope in that line and it strengthened not only my faith but my resolve. I didn’t have to wait too long before HE came and the rest as they say is now history.

Yes, he cherishes me, he constantly shares the word with me even if I doze off sometimes while he is reading (nature can’t be cheated now, hheheheheheeh ), he keeps encouraging me to be the best I can be, he lavishes me with gifts and affection(overdo sef) and he waited until Church wedding before he even kissed me, not to talk of viewing my underwear. So yes I got my dream and more and the purpose of this post is not to pose, but to change your mind set because you are a treasure and you deserve to be cherished.
Taiwo Aderonke
18-9-2014

NB:
Matt 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Prov 12: 4a A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:

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